Dream

Had a strange dream last night:

It was College Entrance Exam. Somehow I went there with Erika and Ryan, a guy who should be one batch earlier than me in my high school. We sat in a classroom in another highschool together waiting for the exam when we need to go to different classrooms and take our exams. We were waiting on 42/F, then we need to go to 79/F for the exam. We feel really relaxed and I remember we were talking about cheating and it sounds like really easy to cheat.

As I sat in my classroom 5 mins before the exam, somebody stand in front of the room, prob. the monitoring teacher asked us to present our attendance sheet. I panicked as I don't remember I got such a sheet. Then the teacher asked me to run to 42/F and ask the lady behind the reception desk to issue me the sheet. I grabbed my student card n ID card n ran.

I passed by the toilet then I thought maybe I should use it before I go to get the attendance sheet, but I found there are still several girls waiting in line, so I dashed to the lift lobby right away. I remember the hallway is somewhat like that in a hospital or a factory with classrooms in the middle of the building and hallways with windows around it, somewhat like my primary school but much larger. Several other girls has got the attendance sheet in the last minute and walking to the classroom in the opposite direction. I got to the lift lobby. As the lift door opened, a kind-looking girl came out and smiled at me and confirmed that it's the 42/F.

The lift looks rusty. the school building is brown on the outside and dark grey inside, just the cement color. I was alone in the lift. It got to 42/F in no time. When I got out of the lift, it suddenly started raining cats and dogs outside. The "reception desk (or sth like that)" is weirdly located near a men's room. Yet a cleaning lady was cleaning the toilet and locked the door. The reception desk is on a platform (balcony) outside the building, so... it's under the rain. No one is there behind the desk...

There was another teacher on the hallway, watching the cleaning lady mopping the floor, apparently she was the one who issues attendance sheet. So I turned to her and asked for my sheet, but she was like it's too late, I even turned to the cleaning lady, and she gave me the same blank look and told me that she can't help. I was really begging them that I have to take the exam, I can't afford to screw it up. But, the blank and "none-of-my-business" look.

Then I woke up. Strange all the people in the dream are girls. Well, expect Ryan, not even a close friend.

Anyway, it feels sooo relieved now, and glad that I'm not taking any exam in the "not-so-far" future.

Random

1.

I laughed at old people who know none of romance, none of fantasy, none of adventures and dreams.
Until I grow to be one of them, and struggle so hard not to forget the time when I laughed at them.

2.
Life is a one way track. When fights are resolved, wounds healed, passion re-ignited, and friends united, nothing goes back to the exact past state. Things and people move on to the better, worse or different. You see the past through them, but only relics of it remain.

3.
I once picked friends by favor, made efforts to see those I liked every day, and thought this could last for a lifetime.

Then I pick friends by proximity, smile to people close by, company them and have them as company. We chatter and chatter for days at a time, not understanding one another, not being understood, and not needing to.

Then most of them drift away, while some remain the anchor of my life. They are rocks that have been dulled out their original angles and colors, beautifully existing for their time value alone. We see each other once or twice a year, or maybe not at all.

When even that is gone, I make friends with heart.

4.
Relationships are like a clear sheet of paper. You start from pure and simple with a zillion possibilities. Then you doodle on it, color it, or fold it into things. Sometimes things go right; the picture looks so good that you want to freeze it right there right then -- we all know it would change. Sometimes it gets so messed up that you'd rather crumple it, throw it away and grab a new sheet.

But there are relationships that you can never crumple and discard, like birth family, and the family you give birth to. Or others that you've crumbled, that you want to spread and flatten out again. Then you see those heart-breaking creases and wrinkles and torn chunks, and wish you didn't do what you did.

The rational advice to give is that you never crumple it in the first place.
The reality is that we are human, so the statement above is bullshit.

5.
Love is an acquired taste, which takes a prepared mind to maintain. We all want to believe it's whimsical art, but it's really, simply, hard-core science. It's beautifully rational, and rationally beautiful. Kiddo, just take my word for it.

March 2009

My 1st spring in SH, well, after 4 yrs, when I finally don't have loads of homework on weekends. So what's here this March?

Oasis concert officially cancelled 1st, Sun.

DK starts bedridden 2nd, Mon.

A new site for LaoWai, aiyowala, started by DK 5th, Thu.

Tiga came to BonBon 6th, Fri.

My friend Akyo had her singing contest 7th, Sat.

Banana Monkey, the Rovers, DJ R3 Rick (all are cute guys) had just put up some gigs in LOgO last night, 7th, Sat.

Juan Atkins came to Shelter 7th, Sat.

DeadMau5 came to Muse2 7th, Sat.

Adult Expo 6th-8th, Fri-Sun.

Prince Nicky is leaving SH, prob. not back for awhile, 9th, Mon.

My friend Joe Buztler is coming to SH, yes, again, so I'll meet him in SuZhou n Wuxi on 11th n 12th, Wed and Thu.

Michael De Hey is going to Muse2 13th, Fri (O_O Fri the 13th again?!).

Weekend Idea is going to JinJiang Park (if weather is good) 14th, Sat.

Joseph E. Stiglitz will talk about Stability with Growth for China & Our World 15th, Sun

Staint Patrick's Day 17th, Tue (wear green... hats).

My friend Davide Zabeo's new band, MONROE STAHR is going to play at Bulldog and YuYinTang 20th-21st, Fri n Sat.

CHEN QiZheng concert 21th, Fri.

Fucked Up will get fucked up at LOgO 21th, Fri (owner of LOgO sez he'll move away everything in the bar except the equipments and the bar. No stools, no sofa).

Juliette Binoche walking out from the Lancome billboard to SH Oriental Art Center performing in modern ballet "In-I" 27th n 28th, Fri n Sat.

Battles+PK14+LAVA(wtever their name is) at Dream Fac. 28th, Sat.

Book Club hopefully have the 3rd meeting to talk about "I love dollars" by end of the month.

SH Literary Festival throughout the month.

Honey Bonnie Bunny is looking for a cheap apt. to share for Apr. in XuJiaHui/ HongQiao/ French Concession.

What I want

Please send me: very smart, whimsical, delicious mind, responsible, tall but not too tall, soft hair, loves small animals, wants to dance, goes on adventures just because, well traveled, looks good on paper, remembers his dreams, avid internet user, falls asleep holding hands, knows the lyrics to his favourite songs, funny as fuck, knows how to cook, can play an instrument, reads blogs, loves his mom, is a man not a dick, rides a bike, knows what it means to chill the fuck out, but also knows what it means to keep with the schedule, is never bored at parties, open to new ideas but stands by his old ones, knows how to draw, has a good laugh, not allergic to cats, is never purposely unkind, loves beach, looks at me and makes me feel infinite, is passionate about something, understands good photography, is competitive like crazy, says my name in just the right way, wants to get to know my family, doesn't mind walking in the rain, is good at kissing, knows how to take control but isn't a control freak, is my best friend but has other best friends, gregarious, doesn't need positive re-enforcement, reassures me by act, understands the art of storytelling, likes wanton, always knows where north is, owns a tasteful ipod, makes awesome mix CDs, not needy, has a good job, knows how to read a fucking map n likes reading a map, has friends who would do anything for him, wakes me up in the mornings, has a good grasp of the english and chinese language, n maybe german, loves my friends, writes funny stories, knows when to be aggressive, has good cadence, writes a good email, playful like monkeys, makes me smile from the heart and laugh out loud, does good impressions, keeps his word, cares about other people's feelings, reads books i actually care about, has no inner monologue, tells me secrets, is good at love.
it's not much, right? I doubt if I can put all these in a dating profile.