114!!! =D

Wt # is this?

So I've finished my TOEFL test on Oct 12th, and it is said that I can know the result in 15 days, which is this Monday (27th, Oct). But I totally forgot. It was this morning when I was on the bus to work I suddenly realized that I should go check the result.

It was quite a long process. I forgot my login ID 1st, then I thought the score is about to appear, but it happened to be a page to ask u if u want to know the score or deliver the score. And after that, I saw my score. 114. Sunshine n lollipop! I just can't afford a bad result when I'm sure that my English is quite good. Coz I hvn't really spend time on that test. All I did is just promised my mom that I would have no entertainment b4 the test, so I stayed in n watched boston legal all day long with the excuse to practice listening.

So, like I said, I'm not a kid who cares abt the score a lot. I remember how I check the score of the most important exam in my life: GaoKao (College Entrance Examination). The score is released at midnight. But I dun usually stay up late, so I went to bed early the night before and slept till the next morning. I brushed my teeth, washed my face n applied the skin care things, then, and only then, I approached to the phone n checked the scores. My parents were pretty shocked as how could I be so calm. They actually woke up during mid night n checked the scores.

The scores were pretty good. So I was totally excited after I knew it.

There's no point of this post actually, just to show that I'm cool. ha. And 114 TOEFL for almost no preparation is pretty awesome.

*shrug*

I've been taught since a kid to compete with others.

I remember while in primary school, we have a chart in the classroom that ranks us according to every test. I was doing pretty good actually, tho not the 1st. There was once that the teacher marked me wrong. I was correct in the test, but she somehow still deducted my points. I thought it doesn't matter coz it is the knowledge that counts. But my mom wouldn't give up coz she wasn't happy to see me ranked lower. I was never a kid who is serious about marks, unless I know it's going to depress my parents.

It's not only the marks, it's everything. I need to get everything others can get. Go to the best schools, get into the most popular major, earn the highest salary, then what? Marry a nice guy who went to the best school and earned the fattest salary.

I am not allowed to live my own dream. Live my own dream means unpractical and nothing but having fun. I was only allowed to watch TV for 1 hr/week before junior high school, because me teachers think I have talents in piano and maths, so I was sent to weekend schools to live my parents dream of a pianist or a maths freak. While I was more into dancing, but my mom thinks one can only be a dancer when young n pretty, so she coaxed me to choose piano. I joined the dancing group in junior high school, drama group in senior high school, but my mom successfully dragged me out from these hobbies by telling me if I don't spend more time on serious study, I will not be able to get into a good college. Actually she was right, I was never a top student in class and I was even a bit below average in those routine tests. But I was always lucky to get into the best schools in the most important exams as they wished.

Now we come to a point when I need to choose my major, and very likely my career path. I wanted to go to design schools. But my parents told me, in China, only those dummies who can't go to college go to learn those drawing skills a second before the college entrance exam. So everyone can be a designer/actor in China, but only those who can't go to college will do that. As a smart kid, I knew I should let the world know that I'm smart by going to the top universities. So there I am in HKU. To earn a good salary later, I should only choose between Medical/Law/Finance, no Arts/Comparative Literature/Advertising. Again I should learn sth tough that no one else should learn or would know if they don't learn it. The point is, if I learn that, I can earn a big deal, and then, wow, luckily then, I can pursue whatever I want to, because I have $$ then!

Then I was stuck in accounting major and memorize all the rules. I hate it so I got poor GPA. But there my luck came again, I got into a Private Equity firm and have a very good work-life balance that my classmates envy about. As long as I told my mom I want to get a master degree in a prestigious US university, every time I go out my mom thinks that I should spend those time to make my application stronger. But why do I want to do the postgrad study? I don't know, that's everyone else do to get a better salary.

So, my life goal up to now is $. The more the better, because I can THEN do whatever I want to. But now, I don't know what I want to. I don't have a flexible body like the dancer, I can't free myself as the actresses, I know nothing about art and beauty like the artists, and I have a lot to catch on about the film studies. So I'm asking myself what I really want to do. Doom, I don't know.

Maybe, I am never determined to go my way. Ok, fine, now I'll just live everyone's life and dream my dream. *shrug* O, life.

I am Awkward around other females

I am Awkward around other females.
I am the girl whom is girlish but not girlie.
I like pink but I don't like being catty.
I would never fit or conform to a sorority.
I only have one close girlfriend and she is pretty much like me.

I have always had more male friends than female, I'm crass and i don't fall in line like a sheep, I don't care to be married, I don't care to have kids, I don't care about name brands, I don't like to talk on the phone, and i don't watch Desperate Housewives.
For some reason i am awkward around a room full of women. I feel like the square peg that doesn't fit into the round hole. I don't have a tolerance for spoiled daddies girls whom complain about trivial shit.
and i don't lose sleep over others opinion of me. I never ask DOES THIS MAKE ME LOOK FAT? in search of compliments.

I am self reliant and independent,
Respect is more important to me than being accepted and liked.
I like having men as friends because they are more likely to be predictable and not hormonal and bitchy and i never feel like they are judging me.

I might be a boy in a woman's body whom acts like a feminist but can take dirty jokes and likes to be taken out to dinner and end the evening with a good head massage.

Piercing

For the record, I finished my TOEFL test today in my high school and did 2 new piercing on my ears this afternoon. One on each side, so plus the old ones, I now have 2 on each side. I wanted to do 2 on my left, then the girl scared me by saying the 2nd one I want to do will be close to he soft bone and might hurt, so I gave up last second.

When the girl is doing the 1st piercing on my left ear, her 1st attend failed, coz she said that my ear edge is pretty thick, so the needle didn't go through, so she made a 2nd shoot. It was ok, coz it doesn't hurt, I mean, It wasn't painful at all when she shoot my ears, but now, it hurts a little bit, only a little bit. I'll do the undone one after these 2 have fully healed. I may also want to do one on my belly button.